Testimony of Nils and Sherry Jansma

During the nearly 27 years since we have left the Watchtower organization, we have often reminded ourselves of this scripture. What caused the seed of truth to grow within us? Why were we able to deal realistically with falsehood, when so many of our friends and family members were not? Apparently, there are no easy answers. However, our hope and prayer is that we are only the first fruits of Jehovah's Witnesses and that God will allow us to be instrumental in helping to reveal the truth of the gospel to many of those whose minds are still veiled, whether in this life or the one to come (Matt. 12:32). We have empathy for Witnesses who are struggling to overcome doubts and the fear of potentially losing everything they hold dear.

Little did we think when Nils’ father married us in the Kingdom Hall over 50 years ago that we would be

writing a testimony like this. We were both third generation Witnesses and pioneers with visions of going

into circuit and district work, if Armageddon didn’t come first. Fortunately, Nils had worked briefly for the

State of California long enough to become a quasi-trained surveyor, and he was able to work part time in

heavy construction using the skills he had acquired. Secretly, he longed to go to college and take courses in

civil engineering, but of course, that would show a lack of faith and ruin any opportunity for advancement

within the organization. Instead, he took mail-order correspondence courses from ICS.

In 1965 when we heard the announcement at the district assembly that the Society planned to build a new

factory in Brooklyn, we decided to apply to Bethel on the chance that they might want Nils’ skills as a

surveyor enough to invite a married couple to serve there. Because he had worked as a field engineer on a

high rise building here in San Diego, Nils knew they would need a surveyor to work on the proposed new

construction. To our surprise and delight, we received an invitation to come immediately, so we arrived in

Brooklyn in May, 1966.

Adjusting to life at Bethel was not particularly easy for either of us—for very different reasons. I am 5 feet

tall and weigh 85 pounds, so for the first 21 years of my life, I had never been expected to do much hard

physical work. At Bethel, I was assigned to work as a housekeeper all by myself. The daily grind of

keeping 13 dormitory rooms spotlessly clean, between bouts of crying, was not exactly the paradise I had

envisioned Bethel life to be. Nils soon observed that those with a college education (obtained before they

became Witnesses, of course) were treated with honor and great respect; whereas, those who had denied

themselves an education by faithfully pioneering were treated as expendable tools for those in charge to use

as seen fit.

As time went on, however, our circumstances improved. Instead of crying, I learned to work hard and then

discovered that my small size and youthful-sounding speaking voice allowed me to become involved in

recording dramas and performing a regular role on the Society’s weekly radio program. As Nils was

expected to do more and more engineering work on the new factory building, the Society allowed him to

enroll in night school at the Brooklyn Polytechnical University to get the education he needed. One thing we

learned very quickly at Bethel was to “never demonstrate your deficiency,” as one wise family member put

it. Consequently, we never admitted that we couldn’t do a particular job. Rather, we volunteered with self-assured

enthusiasm for any interesting assignment and then acquired the needed skills along the way.

Obviously, getting an education was not unscriptural—getting an education without the approval of the

organization was the problem.

After the district assembly in the summer of 1966, Bethel was buzzing with the “new light” that

Armageddon would come by 1975. Neither Nils nor I were convinced of the chronology offered by Fred

Franz because Jesus had said no one would know the day or the hour. In retrospect, maybe we always had a

“bad attitude” because we found it difficult to deny plain and simple Bible truths in favor of the sometimes

creative organizational “party line.” So we were a voice of caution, especially when Nils’s parents

prematurely cashed in their retirement account “in faith.” This was a difficult period. In the worst case

scenario, we figured if the Society discovered they were wrong in calculating the date 1975, they would

acknowledge their error, and we would likely get some new “new light” that offered a more plausible

explanation. As a result, we were willing to wait and see what would happen.

By 1971 after almost 5 years of Bethel service, Nils and I decided to leave and move back to California. It

was difficult to say goodbye to so many good friends, but the monotony of the daily schedule at Bethel and

the pressure to get a better education finally outweighed any joy we had in our extracurricular activities.

There was no room for advancement (especially for women), and any ambition was viewed as a lack of

humility and, therefore, a reason for demotion. We figured if 1975 didn’t work out as many expected, we

might be able to return, having acquired the skills needed to become involved in more challenging work

assignments.

When we arrived back in California, I began pioneering again, and Nils enrolled in college, majoring in

engineering. One thing our years at Bethel had taught us was to no longer allow a group of men with selfserving

and often unpredictable standards to dictate the course of our lives. As one Bethelite put it, “The

Bethel experience causes one to lose one’s fear of man.” We still believed that Jehovah was directing the

organization, but maybe not as precisely as we had originally thought. The Society, as bad as it seemed

sometimes, was the only organization we thought had the “sayings of truth,” so where else could we go

(John 6:68)?

Since the elder arrangement had just come into being and Nils qualified, he became a card-carrying college

student and an elder at the same time. The local brothers were suspicious and confused by this combination,

but were unable to argue against it since the Society had allowed Nils to go to school during his stay at

Bethel. Also Nils had told them of our plans to return to Bethel some day where his education could be put

to good use.

As 1975 approached, we began to hear the preliminary murmurs of denial from the Society rather than any

honest admissions or apologies for their dreadful mistake. Finally, I remember sitting at the Watchtower

study one Sunday listening to the brothers and sisters parroting the information from the study article and

innocently taking all of the blame for misinterpreting what the Society had said about 1975. It was the first

of several occasions when I longed to jump up from my seat, run to the podium, and argue for the apparently

forgotten truth. Instead, I sat there and thought how much the Society was like the Scribes and Pharisees in

Jesus’ day—burdening the people with heavy loads that they were not willing to budge with their finger

(Matthew 23:4). If any rank and file Witness had been called up before a committee, accused of an

indisputable sin, and in response blatantly denied it, and then tried to blame other innocent people instead,

that person would have been disfellowshiped for sure. Yet that was exactly what the Governing Body

members were doing! How could I continue to respect them as spiritual leaders?

Nils had come to the same conclusion a few years earlier. After becoming increasingly disillusioned and

depressed by the lack of love and common sense reasoning demonstrated at committee and elders’ meetings,

he had resigned as an elder. He still attended meetings and used his engineering expertise to help the

brothers in construction projects, but his attitude both toward the Society and toward so-called “worldly

people” had changed dramatically. He figured that if Jehovah was using this organization, then he might be

using others as well, because we were not any better (and sometimes worse) than other religions.

Nevertheless, he couldn’t imagine ever completely leaving and becoming a part of them because he still

believed in the basic moral and non-political views of the Witnesses.

I managed to sweep my doubts under the carpet and continued to pioneer. One day when going from door to

door, I got into a discussion with a lady about the heavenly and the earthly hopes. I read her John 10:16 and

told her that the “other sheep” were those who would live on the earth.

“No, they’re not,” she said. “The other sheep are the Gentiles.”

Immediately, my mind raced to think of scriptures that would refute her assertion. To my dismay, I could

only think of how much sense it would make if the other sheep were the Gentiles. That interpretation would

fit so nicely with the rest of the Greek Scriptures where the Apostle Paul spoke about Jesus’ death destroying

the wall between the Jews and the Gentiles and making the two parties one—one flock, one Shepherd. I told

the lady I would return with proof of my two-class position.

I went home and was confident that when I looked up the original Watchtower article, I would find some

ready answers explaining John 10:16. What an eye-opener that article was! The reasoning to prove that the

other sheep were an earthly class was so twisted and complicated—going from the Abrahamic Covenant to

the New Covenant and then back again—that I knew I could never return to that lady and convince her to

accept my convoluted argument when hers appeared to be the clear and simple truth. I was both fascinated

and devastated at the same time. If the other sheep were the Gentiles, then the whole basis for the Society’s

two-class system was wrong! There was only one hope, and it was heaven—for all Christians.

Needless to say, that prospect was very unappealing to me. I had been conditioned by the Society to view

Christendom’s heaven as a boring place where angels floated around on clouds forever. I wanted to live on a

paradise earth. So as a good Witness, I dutifully swept this doubt under the carpet to join the others that

were accumulating there, but my enthusiasm and conviction for converting others had suffered a serious

blow. It was at this time that I no longer could study the Society’s publications with people. Instead, we

studied the Bible alone, using the Society’s chain references to clarify difficult scriptures. 

I have come a long way since then. I didn’t realize how limiting the Society’s view of our life in the future

was. They look forward to an existence bound by the frailty of our fleshly bodies and restricted to this small

planet earth. In contrast, God has placed before us the prospect of unlimited freedom made possible by

being given new glorified bodies that can and will live in both the new heavens and the new earth (Romans

8:20-23). The Apostle John says, “Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what

we shall be. We know that, when He appears, we shall be like Him, because we shall see Him just as He

is.” After Jesus was resurrected, he appeared to his followers to give them an idea of what our glorified

bodies would be like. Jesus ate and drank physical food, but he also had the kind of body that could appear

and disappear at will and apparently operate beyond the laws of our physical universe. What could be a

more exciting hope than that?

Sometimes people ask us what to say to Witnesses at the door when they ask; “Wouldn’t you want to live

forever on a paradise earth?” We encourage a positive response saying, “Yes, but I also look forward to

having access to the dwelling places or abodes described by Jesus at John 14:2. God intends for Christians

to be able to live both in heaven and on the earth. Doesn’t that sound appealing to you?” This response is

certainly an attention getter. In all my days of going from door to door, I never heard any Christians say they

looked forward to living on the “new earth,” as well as in heaven.

Amid this period of change and confusion, both Nils and I were beginning to wonder what Jehovah had in

store for us, if anything. Then an unexpected event happened that gave us a whole new outlook on life.

After 15 years of marriage, I was told by my doctor that we were going to have a baby. That changed

everything. When our daughter Ariane was born in January, 1978, Nils stopped attending meetings. He

didn’t want to raise Ariane as a Witness and require her to take a stand on issues that he was no longer

convinced were valid, such as birthdays and blood transfusions. However, he didn’t oppose me because he

was sure that I would not be able to ignore the truth’s compelling influence indefinitely. Therefore, in the

interim, I could do as I saw fit with his blessing. So rather than go to our Kingdom Hall alone with a baby, I

began attending the Hall where my mother and other family members went. However, I used the baby as an

excuse to skip most of the meetings. The book study, the public talk, and the service meeting had become so

abysmally boring to me, hearing the same information over and over again, that I felt they were a waste of

time. Interestingly, a few quick years later Ariane began to think that meetings were even worse than a

waste of time and occasionally let her feelings be known. For me, that experience has come to be viewed as

validation of Jesus’ “out of the mouth of babes” statement (Matt. 21:6; Ps. 8:2).

It should go without saying that during this period, our friends and family were naturally quite worried about

us. We had been so active and involved in everything, and now we were considered “weak.” Most of them

blamed Nils for putting doubts in my mind because he had always been outspoken and critical of the

Society’s questionable organizational edicts and doctrinal experiments. As a result, I was determined not to

let his arguments influence me, so I often found myself defending the Witnesses, even though I suspected in

my heart that they were wrong.

In the midst of our spiritual chaos, we heard that Ray and Cynthia Franz had been dismissed from Bethel.

What a shock! We had known them personally and liked them when we were there. In fact, Ray had always

been a voice of reason, it seemed. Therefore, the rumors we began hearing about their disgusting apostasy

and their Judas-like attitude didn’t describe the kind, loving, mature couple we had known, so we were very

curious to discover what had really happened. Consequently, when Ray’s book Crisis of Conscience was

published, Nils immediately bought a copy and brought it home. We devoured it, hearing the ring of truth on

every page, especially since we personally knew many of the people Ray wrote about.

After reading Ray’s book, I continued to attend the few meetings I could endure, but Nils began reading the

Bible and the writings of the early ante-Nicene (before 325 BCE) Christians. He also began watching a local

weekly TV program entitled Know Your Bible. When the host of Know Your Bible used the account of the

Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit all being individually present at Jesus’ baptism to support the trinity

doctrine, rather than to disprove it as we had always done, a light went on in Nils’s mind. He researched the

history and content of the Nicene Creed and soon realized that the Society did not understand the real

definition of the trinity. They were defining it as if it were modalism (Sabellianism), which is the idea that

God has appeared in three different modes or identities, always separated by time and space. In other words,

modalism says that God could never appear simultaneously as both the Father and the Son; whereas, the

doctrine of the trinity teaches that he can and did. We had always been taught by the Society that if God and

Jesus were “one,” then they could never appear to be present at the same time as at Jesus’ baptism.

However, that is a mistaken view. Those who believe in the trinity use the presence of the three together as

proof that the doctrine is correct. Interestingly, Modalism was quickly declared to be a heresy by the early

church and is still considered unorthodox today. That is what is so ironic about the Society's position. They

are making a big fuss and constantly seeking to disprove an “unorthodox” doctrine that has already been

rejected by the majority of Christians.

Nils was truly amazed! The Watchtower Society, supposedly God’s only spokesperson on earth, has spent

an excessive amount of time and energy refuting an incorrect view of the trinity. Nils figured they did this

because modalism itself, is easily disproved scripturally. There are many instances that place Jesus and God

together at the same time and place. However, the actual doctrine of the trinity, as defined by the Nicene

Creed, appears very difficult, if not impossible, to disprove scripturally. It now became clear to him that the

only apparent difference between what the Witnesses believe about Jesus and what Christendom teaches

about the trinity boils down to what Jesus was originally made or composed of. Was Jesus supernaturally

produced out of nothing, as the Society teaches, making him a separate creation like the angels? Or is he the

“only begotten son,” existing in the same unique form or composed of the same unique substance as God,

making him eternal Deity (John 1:1; Phil. 2:6)? Other than that physical distinction, Jesus’ actual working

relationship to the Father is about the same for both the Society and Trinitarians.

For Nils, this was a very comforting realization. It had always bothered him to think that the Society’s God

“loved” us so much that he said, in effect, “Hey, you, Jesus my Son, go in my place and die for all mankind,

or else.” However, because we now understand that God, through Jesus, personally agreed from “before the

foundation of the world” (1 Peter 1:20) to suffer for us, we likewise understand that God’s love is just as

personal. He did not ask nor expect someone else to suffer for us in his behalf. What magnificence! Only

God could figure out how to both die and live for us at the same time. So as it turned out, accepting Jesus as

Deity was as clear to Nils as the other sheep being the Gentiles was to me.

At this point, if we had been in a normal religion instead of a cult, we would probably have left

immediately. But, circumstantially, we had a lot to lose. All of our friends and family were Witnesses, and

we couldn’t ignore our responsibility to raise our daughter to love God and to associate with moral people.

Additionally, I had “disproved” Christendom’s teachings so many times, I couldn’t imagine suddenly

accepting them and attending a church full of hypocrites (as the Society often described churchgoers).

However, over the next couple of years, two significant events took place that caused us to hesitantly take

that first big step into a church building. We read Thus Saith . . . The Governing Body by Randy Watters.

When we saw actual written proof of how many times in the past the Society had prophesied falsely, just as

they had done regarding 1975, we had no choice but to do what Deuteronomy 18:20-22 told us to do—not to

listen to the false prophet who came in Jehovah’s name. There was no way we could ignore this plain and

simple command.

At the same time, Nils had been corresponding with the host of Know Your Bible, John Banks, who believed

in a “young earth” and that the creative days of Genesis chapter 1 were each 24-hours long. Nils (who now

had a Masters degree in engineering and geology) was of the opinion that the earth was old and that the days

of creation were long periods of time. John Banks, who was able and willing to accommodate personal

opinions, recommended that Nils attend a series of lectures being given at a local church by a man, John

Clayton, who believed much the same as Nils did about the age of the earth. So it was on a very rainy Friday

night in February of 1986 that we walked into a church, away across town where we would not be

recognized by anyone we knew. To be on the safe side, we even gave false names and regarded everyone

present with suspicion, speaking only when spoken to. However, John and Nils were immediately kindred

spirits when it came to science and the Bible. Amusingly, when John sensed Nils’s reluctance to be

identified, he innocently said, “You must belong to a cult or something.”

After the session, we were invited to return on Sunday and attend a Bible study. The group was studying the

book of Acts and going through each chapter verse by verse, without an organizational Bible study aid to

guide them. This was an exciting change for us. Here people were asking questions and referring to a

variety of different Bible commentaries. Some people respectfully disagreed with the opinions expressed by

the person conducting the study, and it was okay! In preparation for the next week, Nils bought a slew of

commentaries, and a whole new world of Bible study opened up to us. Ariane was 8 years old at the time

and immediately fell in love with Sunday School after the first five minutes (surprise, surprise). It was a

welcome relief from the hours of boredom at the Kingdom Hall. Soon my mother (who had read Crisis of

Conscience) joined us, along with some inactive Witness friends. Every Sunday, we sat in the front row

during the sermon with tears often streaming down our faces. Hearing a positive message about the love of

Christ was a cathartic experience for us. But in accord with our Watchtower programming, we kept waiting

for all of the “hypocritical Christians” to show their true colors and gossip or backbite or fornicate on the

pews, but it never happened.

Finally, we gave our real names and revealed our Witness association. Apparently, most people had already

guessed we were Witnesses because we kept saying “Jehovah,” but they were content to let us progress at

our own pace and in our own way. In fact, though we attended that church for many years, they never

required us to become members. We had already been enrolled, through baptism, as members in Christ’s

body, the true, universal church, so any earthly memberships were for bookkeeping purposes only and not

officially necessary.

In the meantime, rumors were flying around the Kingdom Hall about us. One Sunday, without our

knowledge, several elders, who had been our close friends, followed us across town and spied on us as we

entered the church. They then called us up before the committee. We brought Ariane along so that she

could see for herself what was happening to us and why. In the course of the conversation, Nils asked the

brothers if they had read Crisis of Conscience. One overseer said he hadn’t, but he knew it was full of lies.

Afterward, Ariane said she had wanted to interrupt to ask him how he could know there were lies in a book if

he hadn’t read it. His attitude helped in convincing her that the Witnesses didn’t have the truth. Incidentally,

even though we had left the Witnesses, Ariane still insisted that she would not salute the flag at school nor

participate in some of the holidays. We never opposed her in this, but as time went by, she came to see for

herself that saluting the flag was an act of respect and not worship, as we had once taught her. As far as

holidays are concerned, Paul said they were not salvation issues but a matter of personal conscience that one

had to work out “in his own mind.” (Romans 14:5).

During the committee meeting, the elders kept trying to get us to admit that we were no longer Witnesses so

they could say we had disassociated ourselves. Nils decided not to make it easy for them to get rid of us. He

believed that if they had to struggle with enforcing the Society’s unscriptural rules, they might also lose faith

in the organization. So Nils’ position was this—We are still witnesses for Jehovah, and we fully agree with

the Organization when it is in harmony with the Bible. In accord with the Society’s witnessing policy, our

Christian conscience requires that we be truthful when going from door to door. Therefore, if anyone asks us

about the history of Jehovah’s Witnesses, we will have to tell them, in truth, that they have prophesied

falsely. We can prove that from the literature. To require us to say anything different would be the same as

forcing us to engage in deceptive recruiting practices, and we are certain that the Society would not want to

endorse that practice as a part of their witnessing policy. To make sure, Nils sent a barrage of letters to the

Society (always with copies to the local elders) asking them to answer the charge of deceptive recruiting, but of course, they never responded.

Finally after a year of ignoring us completely, the brothers suddenly insisted on another committee meeting.

If we didn’t show up, it would be taken the same as a letter of disassociation. If we did show up, we weren’t

allowed to take notes or to have anyone accompany us during our interrogation. When we got there, they

required us to meet with them separately. All they asked us was the “new” (at that time) question the Society

had added to the baptism confession—Did we consider that our baptism in the holy spirit meant that we were

baptized into the spirit directed organization? I said I had not been asked that question at my baptism, so it

didn’t apply to me. I agreed with the Organization as long as it acted in harmony with the Bible. I clearly

said that I was not disassociating myself from Jehovah’s Witnesses. They thanked me and said I could

leave. Nils went through the same procedure and gave similar answers.

Later, we heard that a vague announcement had been made at the congregation saying, in effect, that we

were no longer considered Jehovah’s Witnesses. Nils immediately wrote to the Society saying that the local

congregation had made an announcement that was apparently not in harmony with the Society’s policy

regarding “deceptive recruiting.” He requested confirmation of the Society’s approval of the local

congregation’s actions in declaring us as “non members” because we would not agree to engage in deceptive

recruiting practices. He stressed that he was sure that the Society didn’t support such immoral and coercive

conduct and that if they did not affirm the action of the local congregation, we would assume a mistake had

been made. Since we have heard nothing from the Society to the contrary, we assume a mistake was made

and that we are still Jehovah’s witnesses in good standing. It is our position that if the Society would allow

us to tell the truth about false prophecy at the door in their name, we may still actively associate with them.

For this reason, we can honestly say that we have not been disfellowshiped nor have we disassociated

ourselves from Jehovah’s Witnesses. In fact, when Nils has had occasion to confront the local Witness

elders regarding this issue, they have reassured him that we have not been disfellowshiped and shouldn’t be

treated as such. Of course, over time, everyone, including our close family members, treated us as if we had

been. While this was painful to us, we nevertheless wanted our family to know that such actions were their

decision and that the Society did not “officially” support their behavior. Toward the end of both of Nils’

parent’s lives, they softened in their treatment of us. This may have been due to their personal needs or

because we were not officially labeled as ungodly people. It was maintaining this distinction that strongly

influenced our efforts to not allow the Society to easily disfellowship or disassociate us.

During the past 20 years, we have grown both educationally and spiritually. Nils has earned a doctorate in

Biblical archaeology, and I have a Masters degree in Reading and Language Arts. Spiritually, we have

grown into the Christians we always envied—those who really love Jesus and feel his presence in every area

of their lives. Our cynicism is essentially gone, and in its place we are learning to trust. We rejoice every

day for the freedom we have in Christ to read the Bible and apply all of the scriptures to ourselves without

having it filtered by organizational creeds and laws. Although we’ve been able to help some of our friends

and family members to leave the Witnesses, the bulk of our ministry has involved educating fellow

Christians about science and the Bible. Nils has updated a book written over 40 years ago by John Clayton,

entitled The Source. The book harmonizes Genesis chapter 1 with the fossil record and clarifies many

misunderstandings that Christians may have about scientific issues.  He has subsequently also written a

Work Book for The Source with questions to use in discussions and updated information.  You can see his work at:  www.thebeginning.us .   I have written Journey Through a Jewel,  a novel based on our many trips through the Grand Canyon, whitewater rafting along the Colorado River while helping to coordinate and conduct a series of Bible classes about God’s creation. Throughout the story, the reader is swept along the river, through magnificent scenery and turbulent rapids. Grand Canyon history and arguments for belief in God are intertwined as the two main characters embark on a journey of self-discovery and faith. If you are interested in more information about either book, please click here: http://www.sljansma.com/index.html

During the years ahead, we hope to continue in a ministry involving science and the Bible. This subject is

not important to people of faith, but it is to those searching for faith. We especially find young people being

torn between loyalty to traditional beliefs and what they are learning in school. Churches today need to have

a panel of “experts” in science and the Bible who can answer the difficult questions about the subject, so our

ministry strives to help equip these would-be experts to educate others. 

As far as our position with the Society and Jehovah’s Witnesses is concerned, we always want to be

available to any who are in need of help. While we do not seek confrontation, we do not run from it either.

There are many powerful arguments that can have a compelling effect on the Society, if properly used. We

have found that deceptive recruiting, as alluded to in our testimony, is the most useful. Other similar

arguments can be used to reconcile disagreements between husband and wife, if conflicts arise. While this is

not our primary focus at this time, we are always willing to offer whatever assistance we can.